Has this ever happened to you?

You hear of something amazing happening to someone you know. You want to feel happy for them, buuutttt instead you low key start feeling defeated.

Intellectually, you know that just because something good happened to them doesn’t mean there’s nothing left for you, but your heart is still squeezing, and you have a weird feeling in your belly. Is this jealousy?

You start to feel ashamed that instead of feeling happy for your friend, your first reaction was to get jealous.

Ugh. What is wrong with you?

If this story sounds familiar to you, you aren’t alone.

I just experienced it myself this morning! And it’s what inspired me to write this post.

Here’s the deal. When you’ve grown up with a lack mentality as a learned and practiced behavior, it’s easy to slip people into the categories of winners and losers.

You unconsciously believe that there are limited resources, so when other people receive blessings, you think it means that it's taking something away from you. They win. You lose.

Not fun, is it? 😣

💡 But there is a way out!

What if I told you that as easy as it is to let the above example be your first reaction, you can just as easily slip out of it with a few simple mindset reframes.

#1. Love the part of you that is feeling jealous

Any jealousy, shame, fear, or other negative emotion that comes up is simply trying to keep you safe or propel you into action.

There is nothing wrong with the intention. The method this part of you is using to get there is just not very effective.

Try this, as long as it feels safe to do so.

Feel where the negative emotion is in your body. Breathe it in. And try thanking the part for trying to keep you safe. Do you feel any lighter?

I could go into a lot more depth here, and I do when I coach my one-on-one clients through this process. Self-compassion is one of the simplest and most accessible hacks to move past a block or negative emotion.

#2. A rising tide lifts all ships

Remember being a little kid in the bathtub and getting to play with the floating toys?

As your bath fills up with water, the toys don’t sink right? They all float together as the water continues to rise. Think of energy like the water.

When someone taps into the endlessly expansive positive energy field, it radiates all around them and positively impacts everything it touches. Goodness in the world perpetuates more goodness.

For example,

your husband just lost 15 pounds.

He feels more confident and energized. His mood has improved.

With this change in his energy, you’ve noticed he is kinder and more thoughtful.

You feel closer to him than ever before because his energy is contagious and you can’t help but laugh and feel lighter when you’re around him.

Now you feel inspired to start making some healthy changes in your life because you see how it’s positively changed your husband and with his support, you’ve started losing weight, too!

I promise you there are examples in your life, where something good happened to someone around you, and it rubbed off on you in some way.

Goodness is abundant. There is enough for you.

#3. There are no winners and losers in life. Just progress and lessons.

When things don’t go your way, instead of getting caught up in the stories of defeat, try looking for the lesson in it.

It starts with taking radical responsibility for the results you created.

You can take responsibility for the result, because YOU are not your results. It is something you created but it is not tied to your inherent worth. YOU are worthy and inherently valuable, no matter what.

Once you wake up to your power like that, you can look at the situation with a neutral lens.

Even when it is something that makes you feel negative feelings.

The feelings can stay. You don’t have to wish them away. AND you can take ownership for yourself and the situation, using it to make yourself a better human.

In life, there is progress and there are lessons.

You move up the hill, or you learn something from what had you rolling backward down the hill and you avoid it the next time, continuing your upward progress.

Once you learn your lesson, you move forward.

And if the challenge presents itself again, it just means there is still more to learn. That’s okay. If you embody true confidence and self-worth, you understand that once the lesson is learned, you will progress forward again.

I hope this was valuable for you. If it was, share it with someone in your life who’s positive energy inspires you.

And if you need support to work through tools like this one and many more, consider applying to The Integrated Self Program, my signature one-on-one coaching container to help you get results, shed insecurity, and become holistically well!

Until next time! ❤️👋